How to Prepare your Child for Kindergarten

If you’re here, chances are you’ve got a big transition on the horizon—Kindergarten! This week, I’m preparing for my youngest, Gwen, to head off to Kindergarten, so it’s definitely on my mind! My oldest, Jude, will be headed to high school this year, and my middle son, Sam, will be in middle school. So, this isn’t our first kindergarten rodeo, although the excitement (and a little anxiety) is still the same!

Whether your child is giddy with excitement, full of questions, or totally unaware of what’s coming, it’s normal as a parent to feel a swirl of emotions: pride, anxiety, maybe even a little grief. Starting kindergarten is a big developmental milestone—for them and for you.

As child psychologists (and parents!), Dr. Jordana and I have walked hundreds of families through this transition. The good news? You don’t have to have it all figured out overnight. In fact, kindergarten readiness is more about building emotional and functional skills gradually than drilling letters or numbers.

Here’s how you can start preparing—step-by-step.

How to Prepare Your Child in the Year Before Kindergarten

 When parents think about preparing their kids for kindergarten, it’s easy to focus on academics, but what actually predicts kindergarten success? Research shows it’s things like self-regulation, social communication, independence, and adaptability—not how high they can count or whether they know all their letters.

Here are the four most helpful areas to focus on in the year before kindergarten:

1. Foster Independence Through Routines

The kindergarten day is full of tasks your child will be expected to manage: opening their own lunchbox, getting their coat on, following group directions. Let them practice these daily tasks at home. Here are some specific things you can start working on from home:

• Encourage your child to dress themselves (even if it takes longer)
• Teach them to fix their own water, milk, or simple snacks
• Let them open snacks and zip bags
• Have them carry their own backpack for outings
• Work towards getting them to use the restroom completely independently (including wiping and washing hands)

Remember - The more they can do for themselves, the more confident they'll feel at school (and the more mental energy they, and their teacher, will have to focus on academics!).

2. Support Emotional Language and Regulation

Kindergarteners don’t need to stay calm all the time—but they do need to start recognizing their emotions and finding ways to handle them. Try the following to begin boosting their emotional regulation skills:

• Label their feelings aloud: “You’re frustrated that it’s time to clean up.”
• Practice calming strategies: belly breaths, squeezing fists, 2-2-2 breathing
• Read books about emotions and talk about what the characters feel

Research shows us that children with stronger emotion-regulation skills tend to adjust more quickly and experience fewer behavioral struggles in school settings.

3. Strengthen Social Skills in Low-Stakes Settings

Kindergarten is when many kids’ social skills start to blossom. You can start to prepare them for strong friendship skills by working on the following:

• Practice taking turns, solving small conflicts, and making new friends.
• Narrate playdates: “Looks like Ella wanted a turn with that toy. What could you say?”
• Coach through disagreements with simple scripts
• Encourage cooperative activities (puzzles, pretend play, cooking together)

4. Visit and Talk About School Gradually

Start bringing kindergarten into their world early—not as a “someday” thing, but as a normal, exciting transition. Here are some ways you can work on this:

• Drive by the school and talk about what it looks like inside
• Read books about starting school (The Kissing Hand and Miss Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten are favorites)
• Role-play “school” at home with stuffed animals or siblings

What to Do the Week Before Kindergarten

This is when nerves (yours and theirs) tend to spike. The key is to shift from big-picture prep to small, comforting rituals. Here’s what helps:

1. Reset Routines Early

• Gradually shift wake-up and bedtime to match the school schedule
• Practice getting dressed, eating breakfast, and leaving the house at the same time you’ll need to for school
• Reinforce this rhythm with consistency, not pressure

We have a great blog on how to set evening and morning routines that work. Check it out here: Routines Blog

2. Do a Dry Run

• Visit the school again if possible (This may already be built into your school’s schedule with “Meet the Teacher” night).
• Let them try on their backpack, open their lunchbox, and walk through what a typical day might look like
• Keep it light—this is exposure, not a quiz

3. Talk Less, Listen More

You don’t have to explain everything in detail. Sometimes, the most powerful prep is just being a calm, steady listener. You can do this by asking open-ended questions, like:

• “What are you curious about when it comes to kindergarten?”
• “Anything you’re wondering or feeling unsure about?”
• “Want to draw what you think your classroom will look like?”

Avoid over-reassurance (like “There’s nothing to be scared of!”), which can make anxiety worse. Instead, validate: “It makes sense to feel nervous about something new. We can handle it together.”

What to Do the Day Of

Deep breath—this is it. The big day. And the best thing you can do? Keep it calm, confident, and consistent. Here’s your quick checklist:

• Keep the morning routine simple—don’t introduce anything new
• Give a confident goodbye: eye contact, hug, smile, and a short phrase like “I’ll see you in the parking lot after school is over. You’ve got this.”
• Avoid lingering if they’re upset. Research shows that once caregivers leave, most children regulate within minutes. Staying often prolongs distress.
• Plan something grounding for yourself afterward. You just did something big too.

Final Thoughts

Kindergarten is the beginning of a big, exciting chapter. It doesn’t have to be perfect—and your child doesn’t have to be perfectly ready. With love, structure, and support, they will grow into it.

And so will you.

💙

Dr. Erin Avirett